Another year

As the year draws to a close, I sit here and think of how incredible 2014 has been for me. The journey God has shown me and the Paths I have walked down just in the last year.
I feel God closer then ever and my faith has taken on new strength. There are beliefs and ideas that once made sense to my mind but now ring true in my heart.
There is a certain knowing you are right with God that I can’t explain. There is no magic formula anyone can teach you to get there either.
God has used people and situations, joy and disappointment to get me where I am right now. With my relationship with God and with others.
I can feel walls from a hurtful past fall and crumble. I can see change in the way I think and feel. Sometimes it feels weird being willing to love and hug and be softer then I used to be. I was so blocked off from love from the fear of being hurt and crushed.
God allowed me to start to trust and be vulnerable with men especially and believers who follow Him. I have also been hurt and disappointed and felt abandon shoved to the side. Even by some of those very people I learned to trust.
But, God has shown me that we are ALL sinners, our trust and life is in His hands ONLY and we can’t expect others to help, or fill that space. Only God can love us perfectly, only God can handle the heavy burden of picking us up every time we fall.
It’s when we put these expectations on humans that we become hurt and disappointed.
Yes, we are to bare each others burdens. But, God calls us to be here for each other as iron sharpens iron and be strong for each other. This is love and truth and pointing out things we see even when it hurts. This is helping people see who God is making them and lifting them up and rejoicing with them.
I am so thank full that I am finally learning how to love! It has only taken my entire life and still feel like I have no clue what I’m doing.
Sometimes I think it’s better that way. Leaves more room for Him to work and less room for me to get in there and try and help with the plans.
– I pray Father for myself and those reading this this that you will give us your plan in your time. Give us willingness to follow you and a desire to sit and hear you. Help us to be still, to know you are Lord and to listen to your instructions for our lives. Help us to have the boldness to live for you fully and with out care or worry of what the world thinks. Help us to have crazy love for all we meet and see them as you see them. Help us to be more you and less us.
Thank you for the plan you have for me and for my place in your kingdom. Be it a warrior, a jester, a generals wife or foot solder. I pray father you help me to heed the training you give and I accept my place as you have assigned.
I pray this in Jesus Name-amen

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