Airport cafe- Next part of the journey

I am so sad to leave the beautiful country I have called home for over a month on this journey. The friends I have made are sure to be life long friends. Our connection to eachother is amazing. We can hardly understand eachother at times, yet we have enjoyed every moment we were together.

I’m sitting here alone drinking my cafe Americana in the Chinngis Khann international airport. The rest of my team is sitting and chatting for what will be one of the last times we see eachother. I am sitting and thinking of what this trip has changed in me. I honestly don’t know yet. When I came I had a list of expectations. Some crazy and some realistic. Some have been met, some have not and many of my experiences have exceeded my expectations a thousand times over.

I have learned I don’t know anything about the language I have spoken my whole life. Yet, I am able to teach it. I have learned that pride is the deepest darkest of all the sins and faults. It is a daunting foe and rises when it is least expected. Most the time it’s so subtle I can only see it when God reveals it to me in our secret conversations held deep in my mind. Despite my faults God can and will use me in any manner He chooses. I’m just blessed to sit back and watch my Father weave the majestic tapestry He graciously allows me to be a thread in.

The things I am discovering I am capable of with Him running the show continually take my breath away. I never in a thousand years would have thought I would have spent my summer as I just have. People say trips like this change you forever. And I know that I have been changed. I can’t put my finger on the exact points of transformation. But, I know I have been altered by God, I have been influenced by an amazing culture and I have been adopted by some amazing people.

It’s my birthday today. And even though my family is far away and it will still be a few days before I see them. I have a new family here who has blessed me and made me feel loved and cared for. My room mates blessed me with a bed full of balloons and streamers! That was a cute thing to wake up too. And my students made picture collages and posted birthday wishes on Facebook for me. I sit in the airport in tears. Sad for one part of my life to end but happy to return home. I feel as though I am a part of two different worlds that can’t exist at the same time.

I know this is not the “end” of one thing and the beginning of another, it is simply a cup of coffee in an airport waiting for the next leg of the journey…

 

House Sitting Retreat – Day 3 – God vs Man intro

Thu Nov 13 2014 – 10:02:18 AM

House sitting Retreat- Day 3- God vs Man intro

Bay Village, OH 44140, USA

I have been blessed by being offered a friends home to stay in while they are away on a mission trip to South Aftrica. He will be gone sixteen days. I plan to use as many of those days as possible to draw closer to God and pray about the many things floating in the infinite space between my ears. Yesterday, I planned a day of solitude. No phone, no Facebook, no use of my Bible app, no internet not even my dictionary app. It was not easy. It seemed every few minutes I was wanting to reach for my phone to look something up. Not that that is a bad thing. I just wanted a day relying on God. I must say it only left me wanting more. I have had a difficult time writing for the past few months and that seems to have ended. I wrote fourteen pages in my journal yesterday. God spoke to me and ever so gently showed me a few areas that I will be refined in. I started with prayer of course and then some time writing down all that came to mind. That is generally a lot of stuff. If you know me personally you are probably wondering how I wrote it all down. Easy answer, I couldn’t! My mind gets so full sometimes with all the things I think I need to figure out and think I should know. Problems that aren’t mine that I think I need to find the solution to. Future plans and how they play out run through my mind as though by thinking about them I can 100% tell the outcome! Just by thinking them through! Such power I must have. And if you want a quick way to talk yourself out of doing anything I suggest you do the same. Think about what you want to do and then think out every step think of every obstacle and how impossible the task seems and give up before you start. Most important step, pay attention- don’t ask God a thing. Make your plans and then later when your crying about how you aren’t where you should be, cry out for Him to help, for Him to save you. This was my pattern for years! The God of convenience, there when I had no other options. The place I went last, when I felt no hope. Now, fast forward through years of heartache. Fast forward through trials-a-plenty and stubborn prayers demanding my way and my Will be done. Fast forward past the pain, the anger, the entitled feelings, the feelings of lose and anguish over a life that shouldn’t have started. Or, so I had thought from time to time.

Now, put God where He belongs. First, foremost, your go to, your rock, your strength, the most perfect and beautiful resting place for your tired soul. Ask Him first, ask Him how, ask Him why and why not, ask Him who, ask Him anything. Just, ask. Believe, Ask, Receive. That is the message I so clearly am getting while spending this time with God on my mini retreat. And even more important I have been shown what holds me back from believing and keeps me from asking. Man- Not men, this is not about to turn into a man bashing feminist rant. But MAN as in mankind. Humans, people, men and woman, boys and girls, saints and sinners. Man, keeps me from God the most. Hold the phone, I am surrounded by “believers” , I listen to nothing but Christian music, I read the Bible daily and am in “fellowship” with strong believers most of the time I’m with people. How could my fellow Christians get between me and God. How can my biggest idol be man? ! I was shocked too! I will continue this a little later.